"No kidding." Wash had to wonder if other people wouldn't think differently - if someone who wasn't as utterly exhausted with the situation as he was had been approached, had actually taken the Nox up on their offer...

One problem at a time.

"I turned them down. They-" He stopped as the words seized up in his throat. Saying it brought up memories, memories he hadn't dealt with yet, memories that would stay vivid and ugly no matter how much time passed - memories of his-

He'd closed his eyes at some point, tightened his grip on the couch cushion so much that his arms were shaking. He couldn't-

He had to. He couldn't run from this forever, and he couldn't handle it alone. He needed to get through this.

And if he broke-

Well, it wouldn't be the first time, now would it.

"They tore me apart," he managed, voice barely above a whisper. "I- I died."